Five years ago, Big Fisch and I were preparing for final exams at our respective colleges. It was senior year, and along with our circle of friends, we were reminiscing on how quickly the past four years had flown by and how our impending graduation felt bittersweet.
It was sad to close the door on such a unique time of our lives. When would we ever again get to live with a bunch of our best friends, plugged into college environments we loved, staying up way too late, making memories we’d laugh about forever? We knew the paths each person would take would send us in different directions, no guarantee it’d ever bring us all back again to the same spot.
Yet it also felt so sweet. The future looked optimistic and it was fun to dream about what new adventures lay ahead. So much of our past felt like training and preparation to go out on our own and become our own person. The time had finally arrived; we were ready to jump.
Graduation, marriage, an out of state move, and two new jobs later, Big Fisch and I locked hands, sent up a plea for God’s guidance, and jumped in with all fins.
Five years of a whirlwind later, and here we stand preparing to jump again. I only wish this time I were jumping into warm waters of the south instead of mountains of snow that stand taller than I do.
Alas, Big Fisch and I will soon be shoveling our way through the streets of Cambridge, Massachusetts, because yep – you read the title right. Big Fisch is going to Harvard!
At the end of summer, he’ll be starting the two year MBA program as a full time student at HBS (Harvard Business School). And I? I’ll be going too, keeping my current job based in Delaware, working from home, traveling to and from as needed.
To say Big Fisch worked his
tail fins off for this opportunity would be an understatement. Never have I seen anyone work so consistently hard, with such laser focus on their long term goals, refusing to allow difficulties, setbacks, and testing of patience get in the way. It has been evidently clear that this is the Lord’s will. He has worked out the details, both big and small, in a way that leaves no room for our doubt to try and deny the omnipotence of the Lord God in our lives.
Never have I felt more uncertain about my future. But never have I been more confident that the Lord is in control of all things.
The Lord has reminded us over and over in this long (…and I mean long) process of seeking the next step in our lives, that this is His story. This is not mine, and it is not Big Fisch’s. We have no idea what life will soon look like. But we’ve learned that when God opens a door and says “Go”, you go.
Five years later, and this time around I’m not preparing for finals. Although I am laughing to myself that soon Big Fisch will yet again face all kinds of exams. Sucker.
I am, however, standing yet again on the brink of enormous change; of future possibilities that feel endless; of adventures, trials, and growing experiences of which are sure to come.
Yet again our whole world will be flipped upside down. Our routines, our community, our home, our familiar. “Consistency” and “stability” are words more foreign than ever, and yet again I’m learning that contentment can be found in the face of chaos.
This time, it hurts a little bit more than the last. Because unless you live with a guarded heart, the longer you live, the deeper you love. And the more you love, the harder it is to say goodbye.
But this is what it means to live, is it not? To experience; to change; to grow; to gain; to lose. In all of it, we become more of the person we were created to be.
So let’s just hope this Northern region Big Fisch is leading me too wears well on us. Because if this Fisch starts sleep walking, sleep talking, AND sleep studying, this shovel will come in handy for more than just snow.
Watch out Cambridge. Here we come!
– Tiny Fisch