Sleeping Squatting Fisch


I was drifting asleep quickly.

My feet were aching from hours of salsa dancing in strappy shoes that dug deeper into my toes with each step.

My body was exhausted from a long week and my bed felt so soft and perfect as I slid into it, propping my feet up on a pillow.

After an evening of bass-heavy music blaring over the speakers, my mind welcomed the tranquil quiet.

I was asleep within minutes. For once my mind seemed to rest while I slept; no bizarre dreams played themselves out like normal.

That was, until I heard it.

A voice starting off faint. What was that? Who is talking?! Someone please make it stop.

Then I felt it.

Tug. Tug. Why did I feel like someone was pulling on me?

The voice got louder. Closer.

“Layla. Layla! Come on! You’ve got to get out of the bed!”

“What?” I somehow managed to mumble as my mind was lifted out of its once heavenly rest.

“Come on!” Tug tug. “You’ve got to get up!!”

I blinked my eyes several times to get them to focus. I looked over to my right, in the direction of the obnoxious tugging on my arm that wouldn’t stop.

Low and behold, there squatting in a ball next to me was Big Fisch trying eagerly to pull me out of bed, looking like he was ready to spring off of the mattress and make his escape at any moment.

“Whattt?” I grumbled again, irritation and confusion growing by the second.

“Layla, you’ve GOT to get up. There is a body lying under you. You’re lying on top of someone!”


In my slumber-induced lack of judgement, panic began to rise in my chest as I tried to digest this ludicrous statement.

There is a dead body lying under me? What in the— oh. Right.

My panic dissipated as my senses returned. The only thing under me was a pillow, although I was wishing I’d had a bat to hit the boy across the head.

“There is no body. You’re dreaming and sleep squatting. Go. to. sleep.”  I leaned over, grabbed his arm, and pulled him back down. After muttering something in gibberish, he was finally convinced we were safe to stay in bed. His body unrolled and he flopped back under the covers.

I let out a deep sigh and by the grace of God, drifted back to sleep.

As Big Fisch joined me in the kitchen the next morning, he asked me his usual morning questions as I flipped the bacon and sipped on my coffee half awake.

“How’d ya sleep Layla? (Asked with extreme interest and pep).

“Not too bad. You?” (Answered with little interest and zero pep).

“Good! Although I think I slept walked. Ha!”


“Man, that was annoying. But funny! Love you Layla!”

As he walked away with an extra spring in his step, I couldn’t help but smile.

This is my life. This is marriage. Real. Imperfect. Annoying. Funny. Exhausting. Thrilling. Entertaining. Bizarre.

 Oh hey –  Big Fisch… because you wake me up sleep walking so many nights…I’m adding this picture of you. Maybe one day I’ll share the story behind it.

matt peed pants

Love you too Hunny 😉