Life lately has been busy.
I know you’re probably thinking what I’m thinking: when is life ever not busy?
For me recently, “busy” has meant little to no time for writing. Little to no time for processing and capturing deep thoughts.
For better or for worse, it is what it is. But I’m pausing now to do what it is that often helps me grow best: reflect and write.
I’d love to list out many of the updates, decisions, and processes Big Fisch and I have been going through as of late. But for several reasons, I’m not able to share it all so publicly at this point in our lives. Hopefully one day I can.
All in all, both Big Fisch and I have found ourselves carving out a niche at work and at home here in the North that looks surprisingly different than we would have imagined. Funny how life usually works that way, eh? (No, we didn’t move “North” to Canada. I just felt like saying “eh”).
We have been blessed. We have been stretched. We’ve asked “why’s?” And most importantly, we have been growing.
I find myself many times feeling as though I’m sitting in the passengers seat, observing, and trying to learn. Trying to figure out me. Trying to figure out God. And shedding more of the part of me that cares so much what others think.
I’m learning to relearn and to rebuild on a stronger foundation. One with more “meat” behind it.
The transition into adulthood requires you to become, well..an adult. And much of becoming an adult is making what you believe your own; figuring out what you will live for; figuring out what kind of person you want to be. It’s realizing the impact of your decisions and facing what’s not always so pretty and easy.
My prayer as of lately has been something along the lines of:
God, I need your grace. Help me to grow in You and not in myself.
With each day, each week that goes by; with each new person I get to know, I am learning this simple yet perspective-changing truth:
There is nothing different or more special about me in my human nature, than anyone else.
There is nothing in me, in my human nature, that makes me better or more capable of “doing good” than the person to my left or to my right.
The only difference in me than in some, is Jesus. He has opened my eyes, heart, and mind to who He is and extends life-changing love.
And each day I must ask myself, how will my life look different because of Him?
If I’m living a life in surrender to the One I have given authority to, then it inevitably requires sacrifice. Sacrifice of how I want to run my life, for how He wants to run my life.
So how will His love change how I live my life when temptations come my way? When pain and confusion strikes? When comprising situations arise? When every other option around me other than Him seems appealing? How will I react?
Many times I will fail and my life will unfortunately look no different.
But if I rely on His strength, drawing near to Him, than many more times my life will look different. And in those moments the glory is certainly not to me; but all to Him.
Happy Spring from Big & Tiny Fisch.