I don’t think I’ll ever claim I’m an expert in marriage.
In fact, the longer I’m married (and well, the longer I”m alive), the more I realize I don’t know.
But since I haven’t reflected on marriage in this here blog for awhile, here’s a few shared thoughts on what I’ve learned:
– Sometimes, when you’re hoping to hear “Honey, you look so beautiful still after a long day of work!” as your spouse walks through the door, what you really hear is “Hi honey, wow, you look greasy!” Because after months and years of living with someone, honesty tends to trump pleasant illusions. But many times, that’s just what our ego needs.
– Your subconscious usually knows what is best for you. Like when your spouse starts to shake you in your sleep because he thinks you’re an evil burglar lounging in his bed, your mind chooses to ignore him and keep on sleeping like a baby. Because you’re so dang tired and you know he’ll eventually calm himself down. Hey, you gotta choose your battles, right?
– Repeatedly finding your spouses’s gas tank on empty when you go to drive their car is not a justifiable excuse for murder. Don’t waste time daydreaming about it.
– Your desire to send your spouse off to work well fed, like any good wife in the 1950’s would do, may result in your fingers permanently smelling like bacon. It’s all about making sacrifices, people.
– When both you and your spouse get deliriously sleepy and you start to argue over who is the most tired, the best thing you can do for your marriage is just. go. to. sleep. After a good night’s rest you’ll most likely like each other again in the morning.
– And lastly, when you find that your spouse has broken the 5th ceramic teaspoon measure-er you own, which happens to be from your favorite Anthropology set, the wisest reaction you could have is to laugh. Because if you can’t learn to laugh at life’s nuances together, it’s going to be one looooong ride.
Two imperfect people coming together equals one imperfect life. But you know what? It sure is fun figuring out things together as you go. And once you both acknowledge that roses really smell like poo (or bacon), you’re freed up to simply laugh.