Growing up, my mother took me to the doctor’s at least once a year for my regular check up. They were usually quick visits, in and out and thankfully not much out of the ordinary. However, going once a year, every year, should have been enough for me to familiarize myself with what was expected from the doctor.
But here I am, many years into adulthood, and I still haven’t learned the following:
1. The scale at the doctor’s office will always reflect that you weigh more than you thought you did. Don’t try to explain to the nurse that what you’re wearing probably added x amount to your “true weight”.
2. Resist the urge to squeeze the air pump at the end of the blood pressure measurer. Resist it. Or at least wait until the nurse has left the room.
3. What a “good” blood pressure reading is. Every time I go I have to ask “Is that good??”. Apparently I fell asleep in health class while everyone else learned about healthy blood pressure levels…
4. When the nurse is walking towards you with a tiny metal stick, she’s trying to measure your temperature. Open your mouth Heather. She’s going for your mouth.
5. Ask questions at the end of the appointment when you’re confused about what the doctor is telling you do to. Just nodding and smiling won’t work this time.
6. Understand “deductibles” without having to text my husband or mother. Playing the “I’m ignorant but cute” card doesn’t work so well anymore.
Oh the pains of growing up with selective hearing…
Maybe I’ll remember better the next time.