Exposed by Light

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I read a quote this morning from Beth Moore that revealed something new to me about the way God works and about the way I often behave.

In her eloquent, simple words she said:
“As God perfects us, He keeps us protected from the pride that might otherwise develop by veiling to some extent our progress in our own eyes. You see, the light of the glory of His presence shines in two ways: it sheds light on the knowledge of God so that we can learn to see Him more clearly, but it also sheds light on us so that we can see our own sin more clearly. Remember, the closer you approach the light, the brighter it shines on you. This is the marvelous two-edged sword of intimacy. We see him more clearly, and we see ourselves more clearly. It is the perfect safeguard against pride. You can mark His word on this: true intimacy breeds true humility!” – Beth Moore
When I read these words of Beth’s, I immediately thought of marriage.
In my marriage, when I agreed to allow Big Fisch to truly know me, I signed myself up for humility and out for the chance to keep up a sense of pride.
Big Fisch hears my unfiltered comments, witnesses my reactions and knows my true emotions. He loves me no matter how ugly and selfish I act, but he also questions my reactions and holds me accountable.
As Big Fisch sees me more clearly, I see myself more clearly; sin and all. Marriage sheds light on sin when there is true intimacy because if we are honest, vulnerable, and transparent with one another, it leaves no room to trick ourselves into believing we are perfect.
But true intimacy is always worth it. It will always cause us to face who we really are and dare us to change.
Likewise, I have known it to be true in my life that when I begin to understand more about God and His greatness, I see more of my shortcomings and sin. As my eyes are opened to the holiness of God, I see how incredibly unholy I am at heart.
When I experience this, I have two choices: run and hide because I’m scared to see what I might need to change and give up, or accept the invitation God extends to get to know Him better and more intimately, allowing Him to change me into His likeness.
I think I often run and hide.
While this is a process that I need to work through and wrestle with, I know in my heart I want to be changed, even when its difficult. I don’t want to be left alone in all my imperfections, afraid to face the sin inside that has grown comfortable.
I desire deeper intimacy with a God who never tires of giving and transforming into His likeness.
May the Lord never stop shinning His light on the darkness within me. May I no longer run and hide out of fear of self exposure.