E as in Egg

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I’ve made fun of Matt for this far too many times to not confess my unintelligent attempt to clarify my speaking over the phone.

How many times have you found yourself speaking to a phone representative from your bank, or the receptionist at the doctor’s office, or the delivery boy from your favorite take out restaurant, and you have to give them your email, or your address, or something that requires accurate spelling?

I have a strong irritation/dread to being in these circumstances because you almost always have to repeat at least 3 times which letter you are speaking and find an acronym for accuracy. And I panic.

“F – I – S- C-” —

“I’m sorry ma’am, did you say ‘E’?”

“Uh, no, that would be C.”

“Dee?” (yeah, like my name is Fisder. Hi, I’m Header Fisder.)

“No, C… as in…Cadburry? Uh, chocolate, I mean, carrot?”

….It gets me every time. EVERY TIME. I freeze. I feel like I have to think quickly, and choose the perfect word out of my should-be-intelligent brain, without it being a big deal. Casual. As if I have acronyms stored up in my mind for every stinking letter of the alphabet. Who does that?

Matt does. And I’m often sitting beside him at just the right time to catch his conversation:

“That would be B as in Barbara, R, O, N as in Nancy,…”.

Barbara? Nancy? What’s with choosing these generic female names? I find it hilarious. N is for Nancy every single time. And I start cracking up loudly in his ear in my attempt to distract him. Because he speaks so calmly and seriously… “N as in Nancy.” Why not N as in Ned? Or N as in Not? Or N as in Nachos? Those are the words that come to my mind. Which is probably why I have issues with this….

When we were on the phone with our auto insurance agency a few months ago, Matt was reading out a code to the representative and came to the letter E. After a series of female names as the acronyms for proceeding letters, out of his mouth comes “E as in Egg.” I lost it. It struck me so funny for whatever reason; probably because it was 9:30pm and we hadn’t had dinner and were exhausted from car shopping all week. My laughter wouldn’t stop and I succeeded at throwing off Matt and by effect, sending him into stupid laughter. Thankfully the representative had a sense of humor.

Well two days ago, it was my turn to have to think fast. I was making dinner reservations for a group from work and had to leave a name to place the reservation under. As I was spelling out the last name, I got to the letter G:

“O – R- G–“

“D?”

“No, Geee”

“E?”

“No. G as in…..pause…..Glenda….awkward giggle“.

“Oh..okay.”

Yep. Glenda. All that came to my mind was Matt’s mother’s name. Well, “God” came to my mind as well but for some reason I didn’t feel right saying that. I have nothing against the name Glenda, but I realize the point of giving a letter an acronym is to help the listener figure out what letter you are communicating, and it helps if the word makes the same sound as the letter. This is the piece I miss a lot in these circumstances. I could have said Giraffe or Giant. But I too, resorted to a female name, and one that wasn’t super helpful in this situation.

Oh well. At least I now have several acronyms stored up for the alphabet in my memory bank.

P as in Please, L as in Listen, B as in Better, T as in The, F as in First, T as in Time.

Oh, and E as in Egg!